they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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