He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
