Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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