My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
