If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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