An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
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