Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
