also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I think my moral compass just broke
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
