I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
