i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
