No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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