So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
