well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
