I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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