all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
So much Jack, so little girl.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
