That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
