I cockslap morals
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
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