He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
