i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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