Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
