i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
