I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Randomize
