that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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