I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
