remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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