Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Randomize
