think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize