Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
