they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
