You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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