I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just want to make out with him forever
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
