WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
