we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Randomize
