Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I could fuck to npr.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
