I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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