I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
