The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
She's just so happy...and so naked.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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