Just took my morning after pill in the library
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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