Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize