why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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