He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize