well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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