Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize