please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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