remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
