You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize