He kissed a someone with a penis
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
