Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
