FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
