Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
It's never too late to be topless.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
