The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
