are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
