Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
