This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
