She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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