Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
