Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
