Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
