So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
