no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
