Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
birth control should be required to get into college
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Randomize