Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
