Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
