Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Randomize
