Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
